Handling Criticism Productively

ImageHow do you handle criticism?  I know you’ve received it…at least if you have ever tried to do anything of eternal value.  An old quote of disputed origin reminds us,

“If you do not want to be criticized, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”

Our most common reactions are either to defend ourselves or to criticize the criticizer.  Neither response accomplishes much.  Instead, we can follow a great Biblical example for handling criticism humbly and productively found in 2 Samuel 16:5-14.

When David was on the run from his rebellious son, Absalom, a man by the name of Shimei, a relative of former king Saul, met David along the way and hurled stones – both literal stones as well as verbal stones – at David.

One of David’s men offered to get rid of Shimei … permanently, but David took a unique perspective on this criticism.  One the one hand, David recognized that God possibly sent this man to curse him, and if so, David needed to heed the message and learn.  The other possibility was that Shimei criticized him wrongly, and that being the case, God would reward him for enduring the undue criticism.

When criticized, prayerfully consider the words of your critics.  Often there is a nugget of truth that you can learn in their verbal barrage.  While a critic may seek to weaken you, they actually serve to make you stronger by sending you to your Father to learn valuable lessons.

Even if there is no lesson to learn from the criticism – and that is rarely the case – God will take note of the injustice we endure, and HE will eventually make it right.  Be patient in tribulation.  Prayerfully consider any criticism you may receive.  Cling to what is good, jettison what remains.  You win either way.

This Week’s Quotes – October 11

Each Friday I share a random sampling of quotes I read, shared, or retweeted during the week. Then feel free to comment on ones which “flipped your switch.”

“Beware of any Christian leader who does not walk with a limp.” Os Hillman

“The best way to prove that a stick is crooked is to set a straight one beside it.” AW Tozer

“We can’t sit back and say the world is evil. What are we doing in response?” – Jim Cymbala

“Prayer is not overcoming God’s reluctance, but laying hold of His willingness.” – Martin Luther

“God is not who you think He is.  God is who He says He is.” – Rick Warren

“The greatest proof that the Bible is inspired is that it has stood so much bad preaching.” –A.T. Robertson

“Why do we get more fired up over Duck Dynsaty than reaching people with the Gospel?” – Pastor Jeff Crook, Blackshear Place Baptist Church, Oakwood, GA

Baby Dedication – Superstition or Commitment?

In Baptist churches, we have a ceremony we call Baby Dedication.  When a child is still young, the parents and child stand before the church and promise to raise their children in a godly home.  The child receives a certificate and Bible and the parents have a tremendous photo op with family gathered around.

The Biblical precedent for this seems to come from the experience of Hannah in 1 Samuel 1.  She prayed earnestly for God to give her a son, and she promised if He did, she would give the child back to God.  God came through on His end, and Hannah faithfully kept her promise and gave her son Samuel over to the service of God’s leader, Eli.  Samuel grew up trusting God and became a faithful leader of God’s people as well.

I remember the day that Andrea and I dedicated Bekah to the Lord at Pointe South Community Church.  We recognized her as a gift to us from God – and we still do – and we promised God in front of witnesses that we would with His help raise her to trust God and follow His Son Jesus.  From time to time, when I worry about her and how ministry life affects her, God has to remind me that He has her and that she will be fine.

I am left to wonder, however, as I observe other believing families, what the meaning of their child’s baby dedication meant to them.  They stood before a church and committed their child and their role as parents to the Lord, but now they lead their children to pursue other interests at the expense of their relationship with the Lord.

They dedicated their child to the Lord as an infant, but now they take their child out of church to pursue athletics, school activities, family time at the lake or beach, and a myriad of other seemingly harmless pursuits.  Harmless, except for the fact that this practice demonstrates to the child that while God maybe of some importance, these other activities are more important than Him.

God did not challenge me to raise Bekah to be a scholar, star athlete, or even a skilled musician.  He did not charge me with the task of making sure she assimilates into culture, but rather the contrary (a blog for another day, I am sure).  He did charge me with the awesome responsibility to raise her in such a way that she becomes a fully engaged follower of Jesus, no matter the cost.

Parents, let’s be careful that the message of our mouths is reinforced by the message of our actions and priorities.  Let Baby Dedication be a daily recommitment.

 Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4

 

 

Reconsidering My Use of Words – Stones or Blocks?

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blah-blah-blahEphesians 4:29:  Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 

The 26 letters of the English alphabet have resulted in about 1,013,913 words in the English language.

Unfortunately these words can either help or hurt.  I try to be an encourager and use my words to uplift and build, but at times in my life, I must admit I have misused words and they have done harm.  I think we can all relate to that.

Modern technology has expanded our use of words to include texts, posts, tweets, and emails.  Just like spoken words, published words can take on a life of their own and either build up or tear down.  Even in times when rebuke is warranted and justified, we need to take care that our words are intended to help.

The easy way out is to never say anything meaningful; to be quiet and not contribute verbally at all.  That would be just as wrong.  Wise old Solomon reminds us in Ecclesiastes 3:7 that there is a time to keep silence and a time to speak.  Then in verse 11, he reminds us that God has made everything beautiful in its appropriate time…even words.

I have made a personal recommitment to evaluate my words – spoken and written – to attempt to use words that are good for building up, fit the occasion, and extend grace to all who read or hear them.

Will you join me in replacing the stones of negativity, criticism, ridicule, gossip and such as these with the building blocks of praise, encouragement, comfort, affirmation and such graceful words as these?  Join me in being careful that all we say and post gives grace to those who hear and read.

For your thought: (1) What verbal stones have you thrown lately?  (2) What verbal building blocks have you laid this week?

This Week’s Quotes – October 4

Each Friday look for a random sampling of quotes I read, shared, or retweeted during the week. Then feel free to comment on ones which “flipped your switch.”

  • “Anything that keeps me from my Bible is my enemy, however harmless it may appear to be.” AW Tozer
  • “In revival Christians will weep over their sins—sins that at present they entertain.” –Brian Edwards
  • “Those God chose to use to impact their generation were willing to pay whatever price was necessary to be effective instruments in God’s hands.” Georgia Baptist Convention Facebook page
  • “Faith is believing something is so, even when it is not visibly so, that it might be so simply because God said so.” – Tony Evans
  • “Spiritual fads, tricks, and gimmicks can never equal good, old-school regular Bible study and prayer.” –Mark Driscoll

Faith… REALLY?

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Faith is one of the foundations of our spiritual lives.  Without it, we have no hope.  Place it in the wrong object, and we have false security.  Ground it in the nature of God, finished work of Christ, and unchallenged power of the Holy Spirit, and we are powerful people.

Two particular Bible verses shape my view of faith: Hebrews 11:1 and 6.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

“And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.”

From time to time, I hear some well-intentioned soul misrepresent Scripture and tell someone that they will be healed, or their need will be met, or some other positive outcome will happen of they just “have faith.”  The implication of that statement is that if it doesn’t work out the way they think it should, their faith is somehow deficient.

Think about that a moment.  What requires more faith – trusting a God who gives you whatever you ask when you want it or trusting a God who sometimes tells you no without any explanation?  I believe the latter allows us to demonstrate more faith.

Since faith is being sure of and believing even though we can’t see, then a situation that remains unresolved requires us to continue to exercise that faith.  Once we receive that for which we asked, we can see it, and it no longer exercises our faith.  The exercise of our faith pleases God, therefore we are in a greater position to please God when situations remain a challenge.

So, if you are experiencing a season in which you have asked God for a resolution and He has yet to provide it, keep believing.  That very situation and the faith you demonstrate in it is allowing you to please God.

Does anyone have a “faith” story they would like to share?  The comment section is open for you to

 

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Does God Have Competition

“So the people of Israel put away the Baals and the Ashtaroth,
and they served the Lord only.” – 1 Samuel 7:4

 The Ark of the Covenant, which to them represented the presence of God, had returned from the hands of Philistines 20 years ago.  Yet, for 20 years they lived in sorrow because what they viewed as their “good luck charm” wasn’t working for them.  They felt as though God had abandoned them.

The truth of the matter was that God had NOT abandoned THEM, but THEY had abandoned GOD.  They tried to live in two worlds.  They wanted the blessings that came from God, but they also wanted the charms of the culture around them. In a word, they wanted to be godly and worldly at the same time.  They discovered over this 20 year period that God doesn’t play that game, He requires an exclusive relationship.

Things haven’t changed much over the last 3000 years. God’s people still try to live in both worlds.  We want to be liked by our contemporaries and loved by God.  Perhaps the problem is that we want to be loved by our contemporaries and liked by God.  We want God’s hand, but we are not interested in His heart.

Revival will come in my life when I recognize God’s competition in my heart and eliminate it.  That competition seems to be from worthwhile pursuits.  The devil often doesn’t tempt us to replace God with bad things. The lines are more blurred than that. He tempts us to ADD good things in our lives that are inferior to God.

What about you?  What is God’s competition in your life?  What do you need to “put away’? An attitude…dream…person…position…possession?

Feel free to comment…

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Living to “Not Lose”

Have you ever lived in an environment where you were afraid to make a mistake?  If you have, you know real pressure.

The sports world at times speaks of teams who are playing to “not lose.”  Of course the object of a game is to WIN, but sometimes a team gets skittish and thinks the only way to ensure a win is to try to avoid a loss.  Those teams usually end up losing anyway.  A team cannot play defensively and expect to be successful.

Maybe you have felt the oppressive chains of legalism or maybe the intimidating growl of opposition.  Those who expect more of us than they expect of themselves can often coerce us to live in fear of failure.  We do not take chances, we play it safe, all in hopes of avoiding the venom of those waiting to pounce on our every mistake.  We live to “not lose.”

Thankfully, God does not treat us that way.  The One who created us knows us best.  What does He know about us?

For He knows our frame;
    He remembers that we are dust. – Psalm 103:14

 God knows that we are hopelessly fallible. While God, through His Spirit, will enable us to live holy lives, He knows that we will not always avail ourselves to His power and we will in moments of flesh fail miserably.

Thankfully, God does not keep score of our wrongs.  In grace, He forgives the repentant heart and allows us or move on with our lives.

If You, O Lord, should mark iniquities,
    O Lord, who could stand?

But with You there is forgiveness,
    that You may be feared.  Psalm 130:3-4

God’s grace gives us room to take risks.  God releases us from the temptation to live in such a way to please others, and He offers His grace in place of their unreasonable expectations.  So, go ahead.  Shed the fear. Cut yourself some slack. Don’t live to “not lose,” but live to please God. Should you fail, own up to it, confess it, receive the forgiveness He provides and move forward.

Fear plays it safe.  Faith takes a risk.

What about you?  What ways have you seen yourself or others live to “not lose”?  Leave a comment below and let’s get a discussion started.

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What Is the Long Way Home

All in all, “The Long Way Home” is kind of a thought stream blog focusing on what God is speaking into my life and how He is leading me.

Hopefully, the posts will provoke thought and discussion in the comments section.  I want it to be interactive.

I hope we will walk together down The Long Way Home.

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