One of baseball great Yogi Berra’s famous quotes was “you can observe a lot just by watching.”  I like to paraphrase his quote by saying, “you can hear a lot just by listening.”  Listening is a lost art.  We all want to be heard, but no one wants to take the time to genuinely listen.  Yet, listening can make our speaking so much more effective.

I have a friend who will ask you a question, but before you have the time to answer it completely he asks another – sometimes totally unrelated – question.  Really, a conversation with him can be quite exhausting and usually seems unproductive. Because of this scenario, our conversations are mostly superficial and we never discuss deeper topics and issues.

I believe that God created us with design and intention, and as a result He purposefully gave us 2 ears and one mouth.  How would our conversations be different if we listened TWICE as much as we spoke?  Consider James’ admonition to us:

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger… – James 1:19 (ESV)

Three things that make our speaking more effective happen to us when we listen.

1.  We become more informed.  When we listen, we learn.  When we learn, what we say comes from a deeper well of knowledge and understanding, and therefore our words are more beneficial and helpful.

2.  We become more “hearable.”  Everyone in my generation (old) and older remember the commercial tag line, “My broker is E.F. Hutton, and E.F. Hutton says…”  When that line was spoken by someone in the commercial, all other noises ceased, and all ears were trained on the speaker.  The implication was that E.F. Hutton did not say much, but when he spoke, he spoke words that were important, reliable, and relevant.  When we listen more and speak less, the occasions when we speak become more important.

3.  We become more respected.  An old adage says “people will not care how much you know until they know how much you care.”  All of us know people who freely share their unsolicited advice and opinions.  We also know how ignored that unsolicited “help” is.  We care most about the opinions and advice of those we know care about us, and have shown us they care by their willingness to actively listen to what we have to say.  They are speaking TO our situation not FROM their self-proclaimed expertise.

How can we become better listeners?  Here are a few suggestions:

• Maintain eye contact with the person speaking to you.
• Ask follow-up questions to their comments.
• Give good verbal and non-verbal feedback as they speak.
• Repeat or paraphrase what they have said to you to show you have a grasp of what they are saying.

We all become better conversationalists when we learn to listen.  What we say is more informed and better received because we took the time to listen.

What are some other ways you have observed “good listening”?