Criticism Can Help You Grow

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Recently, I shared an article from a Christian site that raised questions about the public’s trust of my profession – pastor.  I originally shared the article on an online forum for pastors of small churches like my own.  Most reacted, as did I, with sadness and a desire to do all we can to make the situation better.  Other responses fell to the more negative side. Criticism is not easy to receive.

The responses of the forum members were varied and set me to thinking. How do I react when presented with news that I may not want to hear?

All of us hear or read critiques that challenge us personally, our behavior, and/or our thinking concerning certain issues.  How we respond to those critiques reveal our heart and could determine whether or not we grow. 

Here are a few thoughts centered around the various reactions to the post and what I think they may mean.

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Consider a Positive Side to Your Critics

An interesting story takes place in the life of David. As if he did not have enough on his plate running from his son Absalom who was out to kill him, David encounters a descendent of Saul who still held a grudge against him. The man’s name was Shimei and you can read the story in 2 Samuel 16:5-14.

Shimei stalked David and his men throughout the countryside, cursing him, ridiculing him for his rebellious son, throwing rocks and dirt at him, and calling him everything but a nice man. One of David’s loyal followers asked for permission to remove the talking head . . . literally. However, with keen spiritual insight, David recognized the possibility that God was using Shimei for a greater purpose in his life.

Imagine that . . . God is using those who oppose us for His glory and for our good. Only God can pull that off. All of us have difficult people in our lives, but even though they do not mean to, these “sandpaper people” actually help us in several ways.

First, they send us to our knees in prayer. That is ALWAYS a good thing. I saw a sign one time that read, “When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it, hold on tight, and pray.” Those who seek to harm us do us a tremendous favor by forcing us to rely on the resources of a loving, vindicating, and all-powerful God.

Second, they expose character flaws in us and give us the opportunity to allow God to grow us in those areas. Someone once told me, “In every criticism there is a nugget of truth.” We can use opposition positively when we find that nugget of truth and turn it over to God asking Him to help us grow through it.

Third, they challenge us to excel. Critics often incite us to prove them wrong. I am more aware of my weaknesses and strengths in times of challenge, and I am more careful to do the very best I can do so as not to give them even more fodder for criticism.

I have learned to thank God for those who oppose me because unwittingly they do NOT ultimately harm me, but instead help me. I wish they knew that – it would give me some satisfaction.

Oh, and one other thing… the David and Shimei story has a happy conclusion (see 2 Samuel 19:14-23). Shimei hurried to David and asked forgiveness. Responding positively to our  critics may eventually turn them into our supporters.

In THIS Jungle The Lion Never Sleeps

In Daniel 6, we read the familiar story of Daniel in the lions’ den. Daniel 6:3 clues us in on the kind of man Daniel was – he distinguished himself above others because “an excellent spirit was in him.” Because he was that kind of man, he found favor with the king and was set to become second in command over the whole kingdom.

One truth we cannot escape, one that is illustrated throughout the Bible is that we reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7). Daniel was in a position to receive God’s blessing because he consistently demonstrated whole-hearted daily commitment to God. While he found favor in God’s eyes, and in eyes of the king, he fell into disfavor with his colleagues who grew jealous of Daniel’s rise to prominence in the kingdom.

Living for Jesus will not ensure that we will avoid critics and detractors. In fact, Paul warned Timothy that all of those who desire to live godly lives will suffer persecution (2 Timothy 3:12). In Daniel’s case, through the scheming of those who despised him he found himself thrown into a den of lions. Miraculously, God closed the mouths of the lions.

If you are living a godly life, you, too, have your detractors. You know what it is like to be criticized for being who you know God wants you to be. Your detractors have their own lions – slander, criticism, negativity, ridicule, just to name a few. Just remember, if you are living a faithful life for Jesus, those “lions” say more about your detractors than about you.

My encouragement to you…stay faithful. The only “fault” Daniel’s detractors could find in him was his faithfulness to God (Daniel 6:4-5). Stay faithful and entrust your lions’ den to God. Pray that He will give you strength to stay faithful, that He will shut the mouths of your lions, and that He will deal with your detractors in His way and in His time.

Handling Criticism Productively

ImageHow do you handle criticism?  I know you’ve received it…at least if you have ever tried to do anything of eternal value.  An old quote of disputed origin reminds us,

“If you do not want to be criticized, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”

Our most common reactions are either to defend ourselves or to criticize the criticizer.  Neither response accomplishes much.  Instead, we can follow a great Biblical example for handling criticism humbly and productively found in 2 Samuel 16:5-14.

When David was on the run from his rebellious son, Absalom, a man by the name of Shimei, a relative of former king Saul, met David along the way and hurled stones – both literal stones as well as verbal stones – at David.

One of David’s men offered to get rid of Shimei … permanently, but David took a unique perspective on this criticism.  One the one hand, David recognized that God possibly sent this man to curse him, and if so, David needed to heed the message and learn.  The other possibility was that Shimei criticized him wrongly, and that being the case, God would reward him for enduring the undue criticism.

When criticized, prayerfully consider the words of your critics.  Often there is a nugget of truth that you can learn in their verbal barrage.  While a critic may seek to weaken you, they actually serve to make you stronger by sending you to your Father to learn valuable lessons.

Even if there is no lesson to learn from the criticism – and that is rarely the case – God will take note of the injustice we endure, and HE will eventually make it right.  Be patient in tribulation.  Prayerfully consider any criticism you may receive.  Cling to what is good, jettison what remains.  You win either way.