We can only speculate precisely what was going through Joseph’s mind when he heard the news that his fiancé Mary was pregnant.
- How could this happen?
- What will people say?
- What should I do?
- I love her so much, why did she do this?
He came to a very compassionate decision .
And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. Matthew 1:19
He wanted to do both the right and compassionate thing, so he decided to absolve the engagement, but to attempt to do so in a way that would cause her the least amount of embarrassment and shame. He had every right to divorce her publicly, thereby exonerating himself at the expense of her reputation, but he CHOSE not to exercise that right and to handle the matter quietly and discreetly.
We know the rest of the story. Gabriel appeared to him and explained God’s plan to him. I am sure even that message was hard to grasp, but it gave him a glimmer of hope and rewarded his willingness to exercise meekness and compassion.
His compassionate treatment of Mary leads me to a further thought, however. What would have become of Mary in today’s church culture? Would anyone have believed her story? I must admit that I would probably find it incredible and would assume she had fabricated the entire tale.
Let’s admit it though, we are quick to judge others aren’t we? We assume that we KNOW why they are in their circumstances and why they act in what SEEMS to us an unacceptable manner. But… we DON’T KNOW.
I think one of the most profound lessons I have learned in my life is that we never know what load another person may be carrying. We may think we know what is going on in their lives, but we don’t. We don’t know what they are thinking, feeling, or experiencing. We just don’t. And we are arrogant to believe that we can stand judgment on them without knowing the facts…KNOWING not HEARING…the FACTS not the GOSSIP.
So this Christmas, let me challenge you as I challenge myself to try and be more compassionate and merciful toward others. If we KNOW of sin in their lives, then we should address it WITH THEM. If we truly do not KNOW then we should cut them some slack.
Imagine what Joseph would’ve missed had he given up on Mary. WOW! Only heaven knows what we miss when we give up on others too soon.