Jesus taught us that our words come from the overflow of our heart (Matthew 12:34).  If we take the time to listen to what we say, we can learn a lot about our spiritual condition.  Our use of pronouns is a great indicator of our attitudes toward ourselves and others.

Pronouns are words that stand in the place of proper nouns.  For instance, if you tell a story about a man named John, you do not use his name every time.  You use the pronouns he, him, his and such as that.  But even more telling is the way we use pronouns that refer to us in comparison to others.  

The New Testament records the phrase “one another” about 50 times in ways that instruct us how to treat each other.  Nothing diagnoses our attitude about our other people more than the way we use pronouns to refer to them.  Here are three pronoun “red lights” and ways we can reframe them for a more others-friendly attitude.

You Instead of Me Assigns BLAME

Blaming others comes naturally.  That started in the Garden of Eden.  Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent.  The devil still finds success getting people to blame others rather than taking personal responsibility.  

Sometimes others are responsible for the circumstances of our lives.  But more times than not, our actions and reactions could have made the situation turn out differently.  

Listen to yourself.  When less than desirable circumstances befall you, what is your default explanation.  

“If only she had ____, then…” 

As I write this blog, I am sitting in a chair watching the yearly Halloween night fire die. The trick-or-treaters are done, and I am listening to the Braves’ World Series game on the radio.  Trust me.  It’s better that way. But back to the fire.

To hasten the fire’s demise, I split the one remaining log in half and spread the coals around the pit.  As I watch the fire die, I am reminded of an important spiritual reality. Separating the coals is much like a believer neglecting gathering with the church.  At that point, two detrimental things happen.  The believer experiences a slow and initially imperceptible loss of spiritual fervor.  Additionally, the church suffers a loss of effectiveness because a “body part” is missing.

I’ve heard the argument from some.  “I don’t have to go to church to be a Christian.”  I understand the myriad of reasons people give for not going to church.  Churches have been responsible for causing some people serious emotional and spiritual pain.  I also understand that the current narrative about COVID makes many fearful of attending church.  And I realize that some people have some real-life obstacles that provide a challenge for church attendance.

But those who justify staying away from church stand in stark contradiction to God’s instruction to us in the Bible.

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Hebrews 10:24-25

The Church Suffers

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ….If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

1 Corinthians 12:12, 26-27

Church is neither a place nor an event.  Church is a collection of believers who come together for at least 3 reasons.  First, they collective learn from God’s Word and grow in their faith.  Second, they join together to take the Kingdom of God to their community and beyond. But a third and very important reason is to support, encourage, and hold each other accountable in their Christian journey.

God designed the local church to be an organic collection of diverse gifts and strengths.  Then, God directs believers to a particular church for their good and for the benefit of the church.  So, when a believer neglects church participation, they deprive the church of what God wants to provide through them.  It’s a selfish choice when you think about it.   The decision to neglect church places the individual’s desires above the good of the body.

The Believer Cools

In the Hebrews passage above, we see that believers have the opportunity and responsibility “to stir up one another to love and good works.”  When a believer isolates himself from the church, he misses the benefit of being inspired by others’ Christian experience.  With Holy Spirit inspired wisdom, Solomon writes,

We live in a disposable culture.  In many cases, it is now less expensive to replace an item than to repair it.  The technological age has created a plethora of replaceable goods.  Unfortunately, I think we are beginning to see the same attitude toward people.  Imagine that…disposable people. 

I read with great sadness as sports fans trashed a player after his second bad game in a row.  His performance in the first of those bad games was instrumental in a team loss.  A teammate came in and “bailed him out” in the second game with a masterful performance of his own. The fans seemed to forget that the object of their criticism had been one of the most reliable during the season.  Had he not performed so well during the year, his team would not have been in the playoffs. How quickly fans forget, and how quickly they disqualify a once beloved team member!

I hate listening to myself preach.  I don’t like the sound of my voice.  But for “quality control” purposes, I regularly take the time to listen to my sermons.  I have found myself more sympathetic towards those who fall asleep during my sermons.  Occasionally, I do the same. But listening to myself helps me look for verbal noise, bad phraseology, and fuzzy communication. Hopefully it makes me better.  I have a lot more listening to do.

But what if we all could listen to what we say throughout the day every day?  What would our words tell us?  Imagine that someone without your knowledge place a recording device on you.  When they played back the recording, what do you think you would hear?

Our conversations and words reveal a lot about us.  Consider what Jesus told a group of religious people about their words.

The shift is subtle.  No one wakes up one day and decides to no longer believe God.  The journey into disbelief is more of a drift than a plunge.  

In His book You Can Change¹, Tim Chester suggests that the heart of every negative emotion and sinful behavior is a failure to believe a truth about God.  This dangerous disbelief originates in an unkempt heart.  Consider Hebrews 3:12:

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God.

Hebrews 3:12

Who Is Targeted?

Notice that the writer of Hebrews addresses this warning to brothers. In the New Testament this is a general term that describes believers in Jesus, of both genders.  But, yes, believers misbelieving.  It is possible to believe IN God but not actually BELIEVE God.  One can affirm God’s existence and even claim to have a relationship with His Son, Jesus but not believe Him. 

Chances are when most of us see the word “serve” we imagine one of two things.  We may think of a tennis player or anyone else playing a racquet game putting the ball in play.  Or we may think of someone who waits tables at a restaurant. 

Yet Jesus made a big deal out of the word.  In fact, He went so far as to say that He came not to BE served, but TO serve. (Mark 10:45)  Moreover, He taught that His followers should devote their lives to serving.  I’ve thought a lot about the word serve the last couple of weeks since we adopted the word as the theme for our mission trip this year.  I hope it become more than a mission trip slogan. In fact, I pray that it becomes the word that most identifies my life and my church.

I’ve come to the conclusion that ALL of us serve in one way or another.  Either like a tennis player or like a table waiter.  But which one reflects the work of Jesus in our life, the tennis serve or the table serve?

Tennis Serve

The object of the serve in a racquet sport is to give the server an advantage over the receiver.  The best serves are well placed in hard-to-reach places.  They come at the receiver with speed and spin that make it nearly impossible to manage.

We are tennis servers when we focus on ourselves and seek to put ourselves at an advantage over others. You’ve heard the expression, “I don’t get even, I get ahead.”  Sadly, that is a life motto of many.

But we also more subtly act as tennis servers.  We guard our time and resources so carefully and use them predominately on our own pursuits.  We make sure we get our “cut” first and get what we think is our “fair share.”   We expect others to comply with our requests, move out of our way, or do what we think they ought to do.

Ultimately, we are like tennis servers when we are self-servers.  We put our wants and needs ahead of others’.

Table Serve

The object of serving tables is to meet the needs of those who sit at the table. Some of the best examples of service I have ever seen were from table waiters at restaurants.  Those servers made me feel as though the people at our table were the most important people in the world.  

Have you stopped to consider that table servers are not growers, cooks, or restaurant owners?  They do not bear the responsibility of producing what they bring.  They are only responsible to get from someone else something that we need.

The table server works through the time when others customarily eat.  She or he also works through sore feet, aching backs, and tired hands.   I can’t imagine what it must be like to deliver delicious looking food to tables without being able to eat some of it.  But that’s what a table server does. She or he gives so that others can get.

Ultimately, we are like table servers when we serve others first and sacrificially.

How Is Your Serve?

So, how is your serve?  What can you do today to be more like the kind of server Jesus calls us to be? How can you put others’ needs ahead of yours?  Will you take what Jesus has provided to those around you who need it most? Will you be a tennis server or a table server?

“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.”

1 Peter 4:10

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Halftime Adjustments to Start the Second Half

As June closes out and July looms, we enter the second half of 2021. Here are some personal adjustments you might consider at this year’s halftime.

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One of the primary effects of the COVID-19 pandemic is the constant question of what is or will be normal.  No doubt, the pandemic has changed the fabric of life for all of us.  It has introduced new vocabulary, established new habits, and created new anxieties. Many people are asking, “when will be go back to normal?”

That may be the wrong question, however, or at least the wrong perspective.  What if we view “normal” not as a thing of the past but something future to which we aspire?  

On January 3, Rep. Emanuel Cleaver II (D-MO) opened the US House of Representative’s first session of 2021 with prayer.  In addition to being a member of the House, Rep. Cleaver is also a United Methodist Minister. The last line of his prayer created a firestorm of controversy.  His prayer, however, revealed a bigger problem for Christians today.

Rather than concluding with the traditional “amen,” Rep. Cleaver ended with “a man and a woman.” Almost immediately, users filled social media with a backlash of protest. Protesters argued that Rep. Cleaver had gone to far, and he had desecrated sacred tradition.

In a later statement, Rep. Cleaver explained that he meant the statement as a light-hearted reference to the record number of women recently elected to serve in Congress.

“I concluded with a lighthearted pun in recognition of the record number of women who will be representing the American people in Congress during this term as well as in recognition of the first female Chaplain of the House of Representatives whose service commenced this week,” he said.

I give him the benefit of the doubt on that one. It was, nonetheless, an ill-timed and unwise time to make such comment.

The Bigger Problem

The bigger problem, however, is in the statement Rep. Cleaver made before the ending of the prayer.