We’ve all experienced grief. Grief may be the deepest and most painful of all emotions. We grieve loss – the loss of a loved one, a relationship, our health, a job, a possession, or anything else held dearly in our heart. The pain of grief is far more intense than anything else we may feel physically, emotionally or spiritually.

We experience emotions because we are created in God’s image, and He is an emotional God. He feels – even grieves. We find one such emotion described in Ephesians 4:29-30:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

Imagine that: God feeling a pain as intense as grief. Sadly, He does, and it comes as the result of those of us who are His. Sadly believers and churches regularly grieve God because we run our mouths needlessly.  Let’s look at how we can avoid grieving God with our words.

First, be careful WHAT you say. We are too quick to exonerate ourselves because we do not use foul language, but that is not exactly what the verse means. The word “corrupting” does not speak necessarily to the content of our words, but rather to their effect. We grieve God when our words have a destructive, discouraging effect on others.

Second, be careful WHY you say what you say. Do we use words to “build up”? The English alphabet has 26 letters that combine to form, so far, over 1 million words in the English vocabulary. We have plenty of words to use, let’s be more intentional about using words that are building blocks rather than injurious stones.

Third, be careful WHEN you say what you say. In the list of things for which God has appointed appropriate times and season we find there is a time to speak and a time to keep silence (Ecclesiastes 3:7). Do I need to say this? Do I need to say it now, or would things be better if I kept my mouth shut? Sometimes we grieve God because we speak “out of turn.”

Finally, be careful HOW you say what you say. May our words always impart grace to those who hear. May our words soothe the hurting, encourage the down, challenge the complacent, and bless those otherwise feeling cursed.

So many times the Bible encourages us to bless the Lord. May our words never cause Him to grieve, but always bless Him. THINK before you speak.

T – is what I am saying TRUE

H – is what I am saying HELPFUL

I – is what I am saying INSPIRING

N – is what I am saying NECESSARY

K – is what I am saying KIND